I am going to say - Arlington won't be a movie reviewer. Ever.
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Thor and Loci were little kids. And they both wanted to be king when they grow up. And when they were grown up, Thor was about to become king and Loci and he both wanted to prove to their father that they were good enough to be the king. So - they went to the Ice Giant land so that they could kill some of the ice giants.
They only thought about themselves - no one else. They killed some ice giants and then an ice giant got this big monster ice thing. IT was about to eat Thor, Loci and the friends that were with him. Then the king came and saved them.
Thor shot his hammer at the monster and it cut through the monster's mouth. And the king brought them back to where they were supposed to be. Loci - when he got touched by the ice giant - his skin would turn blue. But then it would turn back to normal. And then his father punished Thor for doing that. He took away his powers and sent him to earth in the trans.......something.
Thor met 2 girls and a guy. One of the girl tased him when he was about to hurt her. They brought her into the truck and into the hospital and he got loose. So they went running to try and find him. And then the lady who had the taser took it out so she could tase Thor again. When the girl who was driving was backing up, Thor backed into the back of the car. The girl's name was Jane. Jane said she should stop running him over.
After that, Thor and Jane went to the coffee shop. Thor drank so much he said he was done and smashed the cup on the ground. Jane told him not to do that. Thor heard that there was a hammer that got sent down. He thought it was his hammer. So he asked Jane to find it, but the guy with them said no. (the guy was Jane's father's friend). The guy was a doctor. The doctor told Jane not to drive Thor, so she didn't. Thor said "farewell" and kissed her hand, even thought she wanted to kiss him on the lips (OMG)
Then Jane went out to find Thor, but when she found him, Jane's van got taken away, so she couldn't drive. They were stuck on the top of a roof and these government guys took Jane's journal away.
At Thor's real home, Loci was talking to his father and the father told him this story because he picked up this ice block and he turned blue. Just like the ice giants. The dad said when they were having a big fight with the ice giants that he stole Loci because no one was taking care of Loci. Loci was a baby ice giant. Loci's father turned him half person so that every time the ice giants touched him he couldn't turn to ice. The ice giants couldn't take care of him because he was smaller than everyone else. And ice giants are.....GIANT, so they didn't want this little tiny person.
Loci tricked the ice giants into coming to the house.
Back where Jane was, they were talking about what they lost, one of the girls said she lost her Ipod, and Jane kept talking about her book and what was in it. And then the other girl said "I had 30 songs on my Ipod". And the doctor said "well, I can email them" But the lady with the Ipod said they took the doctor's computer. So they had to get off the roof somehow. I don't know.
Then Jane found Thor. And she called the doctor and said to the doctor that she definitely disobeyed him by driving Thor to the hammer, and Thor ripped through everything and then Hawkeye saw them. Hawkeye went to the gun section and instead of a gun, he picked a bow and arrow instead.
Thor makes it through to the hammer, and Thor tries ripping up the hammer, but he couldn't do it because his powers were taken from him. So, he screamed "no" really loud and got arrested. And then the head of the government came in and he talked about what was happening back where Loci was.
Loci yelled at his father about the ice giants, but then all of the sudden the father went to the ground, and Loci called one of the guards so that they could carry him into a thingy........what was Snow White in??? Coffin! He was put in a golden coffin. Everyone thought he was unwell. But he didn't die. Loci went to the Giants and said that he could kill the king right at his bedside.
Back where Jane was, Thor was getting more and more used to the life on earth. Some of his friends game from Asgard and they told Thor that his father wasn't dead. Oh - Loci had come to visit Thor and said his father was dead.
When Loci heard that Thor was coming back, he sent this Giant thingy to get Thor. Thor told Loci to not take life from innocent people, take life from me. So they did. When Thor was laying on the ground, a tear came out of his dad's eye and Thor got his power back. So he got all of his power back and the hammer began to quiver and he won the round with a robot thingy micbobber. Thor didn't want to go back to Asgard that much any more. But his friends kind of made him.
So he went back, and when the ice giant guard were about to kill Loci and Thor's father, Loci poked his sword through the ice giant's heart (or whatever is in there). The ice giant was dead. Loci and Thor's mother the queen thanked Loci for saving the king. And then Thor came bashing in and he told his mother the truth that Loci tried to kill the king. The queen hugged Thor very tight. Loci was very mad, so he went to the transporter thingy and he turned the lightening to ice so that it would go to the ice giants. Most of the ice giants were getting killed.
Thor learned his lesson not to think just about himself. He told the ice giants that they were going to kill many lives. Loci said "I am doing this for my father". Loci's dad came back to life and Thor smashed the rainbow road leading to the transporter thingy to stop the ice giants planet from blowing up.
The ice giants fell off the rainbow road. Loci was holding Thor, and Loci let him go. Thor shouted "noooooooo". But that wasn't the end of Loci. IT was almost the end of the movie.
And then the doctor back on earth - he was getting controlled by Loci. It said at the end that Thor would be back in the Avengers.
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1 comment:
Well, now I don't have to see it :-)
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